December, 2003
A Blessed Christmas to You
All!
Greatest Christmas Ever
Some businessmen are saying that this could be the
greatest Christmas ever. I thought the
first one was.
Hal Roach
The perfect Christmas gift for the person who has
everything is a burglar alarm.
Bits and
Pieces
Whoever Started This Whole Christmas Thing…
Let us
be mindful of the reason for this glorious season!
This morning I heard a story on
the radio of a woman who was out Christmas
shopping with her two children. After many hours of looking at row after
row of toys and everything else
imaginable, and after hours of hearing both her children asking for everything they saw on those
many shelves, she finally made it to the elevator with her two kids. She was feeling what so many
of us feel during the
holiday season time of the year. Overwhelming pressure to go to every party, every housewarming, taste all
the holiday food and treats,
getting that perfect gift for every single person on our shopping
list, making sure we don't forget
anyone on our card list, and the pressure of making sure we respond to everyone who
sent us a card.
Finally the elevator doors opened
and there was already a crowd in the car. She
pushed her way into the car and dragged her two kids in with her
and all the bags of stuff. When the
doors closed she couldn't take it anymore and stated, "Whoever started this whole
Christmas thing should be found, strung up and shot."
From the back of the car everyone
heard a quiet calm voice respond, "Don't
worry, we already crucified him." For the rest of the trip down the
elevator it was so quiet you could
have heard a pin drop.
Don't forget this year to keep
the One who started this whole Christmas thing in
your every thought, deed, purchase, and word. If we all did it,
just think of how different this whole
world would be.
received via e-mail
Predictions
Have you ever tried to make a prediction? Here are
some predictions from the past - all from people who were trusted individuals:
Thomas
Watson, chairman of IBM, in 1943 said, "I think there is a world market
for maybe five computers."
Popular
Mechanics magazine in 1949 made this prediction: "Where a calculator on
the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in
the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and weigh only 1.5 tons."
There was an inventor by the name of Lee DeForest. He claimed that "While theoretically and technically television may be feasible, commercially and financially it is an impossibility."
The
Decca Recording Co. made a big mistake when they made this prediction: "We
don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out." That was
their prediction in 1962 concerning a few lads from Liverpool. Their band was
called the Beatles.
Ah,
but here are three predictions you can hang your hat on. Two have already come true; the third is yet
to be: Christ was born! Christ died and
is risen! Christ will come again!
There Are
Worse Things Than A Nuclear War
Perhaps some of you remember General Alexander Haig,
a military leader in the war in Vietnam and political leader in the Reagan
administration. Now, General Haig was not exactly what you would call a great
theologian. He once said something which on the surface sounded utterly stupid,
and he was roundly criticized by the media for saying it. He said, "There are
worse things than a nuclear war."
That
sounds like he stuck his foot in his mouth, but that is exactly what we
Christians believe. What is far worse than a nuclear war? Not having faith and
trust in God. Not to trust God and His promises means that we are headed for a
destiny even worse than a nuclear holocaust. But to trust and believe the
promises of God means that nothing in this world, not even the mushroom cloud
of a nuclear bomb or the ecological disaster of global warming or the insidious
attack of terminal cancer or the suffering and humiliation of an economic
recession can separate us from the love of God in Jesus Christ. We can believe
that because our Judgment Day has already happened.
In the Hobbit by JRR Tolkein Bilbo Baggins has met
Gollum for the first time. Bilbo is lost and needs to find his way out of
Gollum's cave. Gollum will show him the way out if he can answer a riddle:
This
thing all things devours,
Birds,
beasts, trees, flowers;
Gnaws
iron, bites steel;
Grinds
hard stone to meal;
Slays
king, ruins town,
And
beats high mountain down.
Do
you know the answer to the riddle???
I ran into
a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh
excuse me please" was my reply.
He said,
"Please excuse me too;
I wasn't
watching for you."
We were
very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on
our way and we said good-bye.
But at
home a different story is told,
How we
treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that
day, cooking the evening meal,
My son
stood beside me very still.
When I
turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move
out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked
away, his little heart broken.
I didn't
realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I
lay awake in bed,
God's
still small voice came to me and said,
"While
dealing with a stranger, common courtesy you use,
but the
family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and
look on the kitchen floor,
You'll
find some flowers there by the door.
Those are
the flowers he brought for you.
He picked
them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood
very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never
saw the tears that filled his little eyes."
By this
time, I felt very small,
And now my
tears began to fall.
I quietly
went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake
up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are
these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled,
"I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked
'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew
you'd like 'em, especially the blue."
I said,
"Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I
shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said,
"Oh, Mom, that's okay. I love you anyway."
I said,
"Son, I love you too,
and I do
like the flowers, especially the blue."
FAMILY
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for
could easily replace us in a matter of days. But the family we left behind will
feel the loss for the rest of their lives. And come to think of it, we pour
ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed,
don't you think? So what is behind the story?
Do
you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY
= (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU
Letter
From Keri
Beijing, China
Hello
all,
Sometimes I think I’m running a marathon against time
these days. And I’m losing. Days keep coming and going and going and coming,
all in a whirl around the comfortable pace of life I’ve set for myself.
Why this reflective mood, you ask?
I’m
not quite sure. Last year I was counting the months in anticipation of
returning to the States for summer vacation. This year I’m counting the months
thinking there’s so little time left! I think it’s the changing season that has
made me aware of how quickly time is slipping by. Yesterday I had to wear my
winter coat for the first time. Today I had to wear my hat. Tomorrow, I’ll
likely have to don my long johns. It was sleeting today, and I had a strange
desire to play Christmas music. But don’t worry, I decided against the
Christmas music...thought that would be pushing the sanity meter toward “she’s
losing it!”
Life,
however, is good. I had a great time teaching Halloween last week. I started
the class by saying that trick or treating and carving pumpkins is for little
kids and that teenagers might want to scare each other on Halloween. Then I
told them that one way to scare each other is to tell scary stories. Scary
stories require three things: darkness (we turned out all the lights), silence
(I told them they should hear their hearts beating), and a good storyteller
(that would be me). I then told them an adapted version of Poe’s “The Monkey’s
Paw” with an added twist at the end I picked up from the All Hallow’s Eve
celebrations at Gibbs Museum. Got quite a few unsuspecting students to jump!
Following my story, I gave each group of four a card with a place (like an old
house, or a classroom, etc.) and a card with a character (English teacher,
ghost, etc.), and they had to write their own stories. Oh these kids are so
creative! One class wrote several different stories about their head teacher,
who I get the feeling they don’t like much. Apparently, she makes them run laps
each morning while she sits and watches and eats baozi, a large steamed
dumpling thing. In one of the stories, a ghost appeared to this teacher and
told her she would have to eat only baozi for the rest of her life, as millions
of baozi appeared out of nowhere and surrounded her. In another story, Miss
Henkel disappeared. Oh dear! I wonder what that’s supposed to mean! But I did
reappear at the end of the story.
Long
story short, school is going well. This week we had three days of vacation
while our students took exams. Tomorrow I have to go pick up 850 short
compositions and grade them. Not too thrilled about that! Next week, Josh and
Artie and I are starting two English corners at school—one for the students and
one for the teachers. I think it will be a lot of fun to get to know some of
the other teachers at the school. I know many of them would like to talk with
me and practice their English, but I think they’re too shy.
I’m
loving every minute I spend with my friends. The thought of leaving them in
only eight months has been weighing heavily on me, which may account for my
concern of too little time. But it’s best not to dwell on such things until the
time is closer. Okay, so I’m in denial! At least I can admit I’m in denial. I’m
thinking I’m going to have to start a weekly baking class, as many Chinese
people who have tasted my delicacies wish to know how to make them. I am also
learning how to cook a few of my favorite Chinese dishes to share with the
folks back home. My current favorite is fried spicy green beans. Oh, if only
you could taste them. I have not yet mastered this dish for the same reason I
have not yet mastered the Chinese language...I don’t practice! (Well, it would
take more than practice for me to master Chinese, but I could maybe remember
the words my language partner teaches me if I tried to use them.) You see, it’s
so much easier to walk to the restaurant half a block down the road and order
fried green beans (which I can say in Chinese, by the way) than it is to try to
cook them myself. Is this laziness or just common sense? Hmm.
The
Next Day
In
the 24 or hours since I left off (I got interrupted, as usual, before I could
finish this letter), we had a snowstorm. Actually, it was a combination of
snow, ice, thunder, and lightning. It left a good inch of snow, and we lost
power for about 12 hours...maybe the lines couldn’t handle the ice. I did wear
my long johns, too, by the way, and decided what the heck, I’m playing
Christmas music. So there! I baked a pumpkin pie as a bribery tool to elicit
help from the other teachers in grading all the exams. Seems to have worked
pretty well!
Well,
that’s about all my news for now. I have to get going on the exams before I
meet a friend for supper at 5:00 and then have our girls’ study group at 7:00.
I
hope all of you are doing well...enjoying the coziness of home as winter
approaches. Keep those e-mails coming!
Love,
Keri
Dear Ones,
Happy Thanksgiving a week late! Never in my life have I had the
privilege of celebrating Thanksgiving three times in two weeks, but that’s just
what happened this year. So let the tale begin...
The first Thanksgiving was a party we teachers held
for our Chinese friends with a turkey imported from Texas and all the
trimmings, eaten, of course, with chopsticks. I wrote a little Thanksgiving
play to tell the story of Thanksgiving, and the teachers this year are, I
think, actors at heart because they did an awesome job, especially the cold and
hungry Pilgrims! It was so much fun to spend time with my friends and share
this uniquely American holiday with them. I have so much to be thankful for,
and my Chinese friends are at the top of the list!
Thanksgiving number two was a Chinese Thanksgiving
through and through, as the English teachers I worked with last year really
wanted to take me out to celebrate. Since the senior 3 students do not have a
foreign English teacher as they are too busy preparing for the college entrance
exam to have “nonessential” classes, I was the teacher of choice for the senior
3 teachers to take to dinner. The highlight of the meal was fresh crabs. Each
of us was given a crab about two inches in diameter (not including the legs) as
the main and best course of the meal. So I’m looking at this crab on my plate
wondering how in the world to eat it, as I have never eaten crab directly from
the crab before. The teachers instructed me to crack it open, take out the
lungs, and eat everything else, including this yellow stuff inside the crab.
And that’s exactly what I did—ate the whole thing. After mastering the technique
of biting into the crab legs in just the right spot so the meat squeezes out
from the top, I ate all the legs of my crab plus all the legs of another crab,
and was quite proud of myself. Truthfully, I don’t really know why people think
crab is that great, as I much prefer Beijing roast duck, but the experience
alone of eating crab is priceless!
Thanksgiving party number three was a good old
fashioned homemade Thanksgiving prepared for us by my friends Linda and Lee
Petersen, who journeyed all the way to Beijing from Minnesota to cook for us
(and to see Beijing!). Linda is amazing! She roasted a turkey at home and froze
it with the gravy and then brought all of the other fixings and somehow managed
to prepare turkey, potatoes, stuffing, salads, and green bean casserole in our
tiny kitchen with two burners and a little oven. It was fabulous! We had
several Chinese friends join us, as well as the two teachers from Renqui, and
we all ate until we could eat no more. Cliss and I baked two pies (I made the crust
and Cliss made the filling and we stayed up until almost midnight playing cards
waiting for them to bake), but people were too full; so full, actually, that we
had pie left over. It was definitely a memorable experience.
It was so much fun to have the Petersens here for a
week. I and my roommates and several Chinese friends gave them a whirlwind tour
of all the sights of Beijing in only seven days. I especially enjoyed
introducing them to Chinese foods of all flavors and varieties, all of which
they loved. I thoroughly enjoyed playing tour guide and sharing “my” city with
my “foreign” visitors! Unfortunately, we missed the acrobat show because I
thought ahead far enough to get a Chinese friend to write the name of the
theater in Chinese for the cab driver, but I didn’t think to get her to write
directions to the theater or the phone number, and no cab driver knew where it
was. That only means the Petersens will have to come back again if they want to
see an acrobat show! After the week of on-the-go adventure it was kind of a let
down to return to life as normal, but I was a bit worn out. I hope the
Petersens’ visit will inspire others to head East!
It was fun teaching Thanksgiving to my students. I
had them write THANKS letter poems about something they’re thankful for. This
was after I explained the concept of being thankful and grateful and
appreciative. I got some really interesting poetry results. One student wrote
how he was thankful for his physics teacher and then used the THANKS letters to
write physics equations. He illustrated it as well. I also did a mad libs
Thanksgiving story, which is always good for a laugh. The kids try to pick the
strangest words they can think of and then crack up when I read the story. I
continue to be amazed at how creative my students are, despite the fact that
they don’t always have many opportunities to express themselves in creative
ways. This week I can tell it’s been way too long since the school has had a
vacation, as my classes are either zombie-like or bouncing off the walls. Good
thing most classes have earned enough points for a movie next week!
Now I’m looking ahead three weeks to Christmas. I
put my tree up in my classroom today and had a wonderful time looking at my
students’ faces as they walked in and saw it. I wanted to hang lights all over
but ended up buying the kind you can’t connect, so they all have to be plugged
in the same outlet...not going to work for a large classroom! The weeks ahead
are filling up with Christmas parties and preparation. I’m baking Christmas
cookies with my Saturday night study group next week, thanks to all the baking
supplies Linda brought with her from my mother. None of my Chinese friends have
ever baked before, so the experience with definitely bring many photo
opportunities!
Now I have a request for all of you. I want to hang
Christmas cards in my classroom, so if you wouldn’t mind including me on your
Christmas card mailing list, it would be much appreciated. It’s okay if the
cards are religious. Thanks in advance!
My
mailing address is:
Keri
Henkel
c/o
Yonghong Zhao
Dept.
of Geophysics
Peking
University
Beijing
100871
China
Love
to you all! Keri
Missionary Terry & Mary Schultz
Lima, Peru
[Note: Originally, I had not planned to write much about my crazy two weeks at Jungle Survival School. However, with family and friends wanting to hear the inside story, I finally decided to go for it. This entry got extremely lengthy and occasionally graphic! (Grade School teachers beware!) Even though I actually left many anecdotes out, what appears here was simply too irresistibly bizarre to pass up. Let’s do it!!]
Training With The Best:
The Peru Air Force Jungle
Survival School
They are
simply the best in the world at what they do:
If you want to learn how to survive in the jungle, one goes to “La
Escuela de Supervivencia en La Selva de La Fuerza Aerea del Peru.” – The Peru
Air Force Jungle Survival School. The
intensive two-week course in basic jungle survival skills has been taught to
The Green Berets, Delta Force, U.S. Astronauts, Canadian Special Forces… and
one ELS missionary!
The Peru Air Force founded the
survival school decades ago with one clear objective in mind: To teach their pilots how to survive in the
event that they were shot down over the jungle. For it could take many days before a rescue mission could reach a
downed pilot in the dense Amazon jungle. A pilot would need to know how to
survive in the jungle on his own.
With our Peru mission work
expanding deeper and deeper into the jungle, I felt it would be extremely
advantageous to have such training.
Usually, Pastor Ronal and I are surrounded by our Evangelism Team that
included seasoned jungle guides and Amazon natives. However, sometimes the two of us are essentially on our own. Ronal has 2 years of mandatory military
experience. Growing up outside Chicago,
I had less camping experience than your average cub scout – (make that
Pioneer). Besides, there was one other
consideration: Our Evangelism team has
agreed that, should we ever accidentally stumble into drug activity in the
jungle, we would each dash off in whatever direction. It would be up to each person to make his way out of the jungle.
So, with the Foreign Mission Board’s
approval, I found myself on a 105 degree July day getting off a plane in
Iquitos, Peru’s largest jungle city in the Lower Amazon basin, home of the Peru
Air Force Jungle Survival School.
Looking back, I see now what little idea I had of what I was getting
into!
I was picked up at the Iquitos
airport by Luis, the representative of the American outfit I worked through to
apply to the Survival School. Luis
showed up in a car with two armed, uniformed Air Force soldiers. One immediately sensed that the Air Force
did not consider the Survival School some kind of adventure club outing, but a
serious military training course!
Luis, who is a Pentecostal
Christian, and I immediately hit it off.
He knows well over a dozen languages, including many Amazon tribal
languages, plus speaks perfect English.
He is apparently the #1 Jungle Guide / Translator in all of
Iquitos. He talked of working for
Arnold Schwarzenegger when he was filming part of “The Predator” in the
Amazon. He also took celebrities such
as Carrie Fischer and Paul Simon through the jungle. Before he was a Christian, Luis did a thriving business with
movie stars and other rich foreigners who wanted to study with “authentic
Amazon shamans.” More often then not,
such study included experiences with hallucinogenic drugs. Since becoming a Christian, Luis got out of
the shaman-visiting business.
Luis was extremely respectful of
my missionary work, and more than a little amazed at the extent of my
experience with the Chayahuitas, Shapras, and Condoshis. He noted that I was the first pastor or
missionary to ever sign up for the Jungle Survival School.
Luis went on to tell stories of
despicable deception on the part of certain foreign missionaries that he has
seen over the years. He spoke of
“missionaries” from large denominations who would come down for “ evangelical
campaigns” that were to run for several weeks.
A dishonest missionary would hire Luis to take him out to an Amazon
native village. The “missionary” would
stay in the village a few hours, make one quick presentation, then hurry back
to the confines of one of the larger Iquitos tourist hotels / restaurants,
rarely venturing out again. So much for
the weeks-long evangelism campaign!
More than a few of these guys would come with huge boxes of gifts, such
as t-shirts, to ensure a huge native turnout.
Photo ops with the entire community of “saved natives” were carefully
arranged and shot. Then, everything was
packed up and the “missionary” never seen or head of again till the following
year!
Luis even knew of one charlatan
evangelist who didn’t even bother making a real Gospel presentation on his
trip. The charlatan simply arranged to
“borrow” a native congregation of an entirely different denomination from an
unscrupulous native pastor! In exchange
for boxes of gifts, the charlatan posed in front of the assembled village as if
it were his own mission field, had photos taken, then scrambled out of
there. Such photos would make for
attractive fundraising presentations back in the U.S.!
Such deceptions made Luis
sick. Thus he was extremely happy to
meet a missionary who in fact worked closely with natives and developed
long-term relations with them. (By the end
of two weeks, Luis and I were such good friends that he offered to take me on
an anaconda hunt some day: “You just
stick your hand down the right kind of hole in the water and start pulling the
giant snakes out.” (!!!)
Luis and the two soldiers took me
straight to the Air Force base where I would be living during the 2-week course. It turned out that I was the only one to
sign up for this July session! So
instead of opening up the extra barracks they use for groups of participants,
they had decided to put me in an old house trailer, normally reserved for
visiting, low-level officers. They
thought they were doing me a favor.
Low level indeed. The musty, old trailer had apparently not
been used for some time. As the soldier
opened the door, cockroaches ran for cover.
Spider webs, mouse droppings and large insects were everywhere. You could hear termites and other varmints
scurrying around inside the wall paneling!
The trailer had been somewhat gutted in the kitchen, bedroom, and
bathroom for spare parts. Bad plumbing
that left inches of water under the bathroom sink added to the dismal
scene. I would have preferred a clean
tent but, after I worked on it a little, it was passable. Luis looked a bit
apologetic, then left, saying he would pick me up the next morning by 6:00. Welcome to a jungle Air Force base!
Early the next morning, Luis took
me to the Survival School grounds. Once
inside the gates, we were met by an officer from the Base Comandante’s
office. He reminded me that while on the
base, I was expected to “conduct myself in a professional military manner at all
times.” I would next be taken to meet
“El Comandante,” himself, as everyone referred to him. (I thought I would first receive my military
issue uniform! Instead, for my
introduction I would be wearing blue jeans and a polo shirt that said “Senor
Frog’s” on it!)
We were first ushered into the
Comandante’s outer office. The walls
were lined with photos of the various groups who had attended the survival
school; American Green Berets, Foreign Air Force pilots… There was even a musty old black and white
photo of the 7 original U.S. Astronauts!
The Comandante came out and
greeted us warmly. He had a 45
automatic pistol on his belt. (I never
saw him without it.) For whatever reasons,
we immediately hit it off! He too
seemed intrigued that a pastor would sign up for the training. And although I ascertained that he wasn’t
much of a practicing Christian, (especially with an ornate picture of the
“blessed virgin” on his desk), he nevertheless exhibited true respect for my
mission work with the natives. After
signing a stack of papers, (mostly disclaimers that I would not hold the Air
Force responsible for whatever happened in the next two weeks (??), I was taken
to my first classroom session.
The head instructor of the
survival school was named Aguilar, and he looked more like an accountant than a
Commando. However, he had been teaching
at the school for over 15 years, and his jungle knowledge was beyond
belief. The first class started with a
lot of talk about attitude. Aguilar
said the next two weeks would be all about “testing your limits.” He noted that fear is a natural reaction to
being in an unfamiliar, survival situation, but panic is not an option. One should always be prepared, physically
and especially psychologically, for the worst possible scenario.
We spent hours going over what
equipment one should always carry in the jungle. (Your “best friend in the jungle” by the way, is your
machete.) “With a machete, you can
defend yourself, build a shelter, clear a trail, kill and prepare food,” said
Aguilar. We assembled a small survival
kit that you could carry in a pouch on your belt. It included fishhooks, line, compass, syringe and anti-snake
serum. It was obviously going to be a
wild two weeks!
Two other Commandos, Pacheco and
Crispus, joined in the intense sessions.
Around 1:00, a cadet strode up to announce that Aguilar and I were
invited to have lunch with El Comandante in his private mess hall! Everyone looked shocked, as this had
apparently never happened before. We
dropped everything and hurried off to a small building.
The Comandante not only had a
private dining hall, but his own kitchen, cook, and waiter. There was a boom box in the corner playing
soft music as we arrived and quickly stood behind our chairs. El Comandante strode in and motioned for us
to be seated. With cloth napkins on our
laps, an exquisite lunch was served.
We of course waited for the
Comandante to initiate the conversation.
He began by saying that he had only been at the Base for about half a
year. Because of the huge amount of
drug trafficking in the region, (Iquitos is less than half a day’s motorboat
drive from the Columbian border), there are enormous opportunities for
corruption in the military, which is suppose to assist with drug interdiction.)
Thus, the Iquitos military base
commanders are simply transferred off to another military base every 2 to 3
years.
Meanwhile, El Comandante lamented
the fact that he had very little modern electronic equipment on the base. These were hard times for the Peruvian
military budget. “But Peruvians are
very resourceful,” the Comandante pointed out.
He had recently heard a true story about a doctor in Iquitos. The doctor had a patient who was suffering
from a life-threatening brain tumor.
The tumor had to be removed immediately, but there was no one in the
city that would do the operation.
Frustrated, the doctor finally decided to do the operation himself,
though he had none of the necessary operating tools. Not to worry, the doctor simply went down to a corner hardware
store and bought an electric drill. He
opened the patient’s skull, removed the tumor, and the patient survived. “Hey, if the Incas could do it,” El
Comandante finished the tale, (referring to the famous successful brain surgery
the Incas performed, as evidenced from the skulls that were cut open and later
healed), why not a doctor with a hardware store drill!”
After lunch it was more classroom
training. The afternoon session
included a slide show on identifying poisonous jungle snakes! And on the very last slide, there appeared a
rare photo of the legendary shushupe snake.
Now, I had heard of this snake many times from the natives, but had
never seen a picture of it. The slide
of the head of this most-feared-of-all Amazon snakes, I kid you not, sent a
shutter down my spine. For the head was
a totally unnatural-looking grayish-white color, downright ghostly, with no
other markings, just two vacant, pinkish eyes.
The teeth were like nothing I had ever seen before; a row pointed
backwards, other teeth hooked forwards, and huge long fangs.
The fearsome reputation of the
Shushupe snake is well deserved. It is
unlike any other snake in the world.
Suppose you accidentally come upon a Shushupe. It will become extremely agitated, and chase after you! In order to move faster, the Shushupe will
coil itself up tightly, then spring out, launching itself through the air a
great distance. Once it falls upon you,
unlike other snakes that usually bite you only once, the Shushupe will bite you
over and over until you are dead.
Interestingly enough, Agular repeated the same strategy for trying to
escape a Shushupe attack that the natives use:
“All you can do is try and run away, while at the same time ripping off
your shirt and throwing it over the snake’s head so it can’t see where it’s
going!”
The day ended with a physical
from an Air Force doctor, then military clothes from the storeroom. Tomorrow, Aguilar said, we would spend the
day in the surrounding Amazon jungle!
The following morning, we all
headed out on a short van ride to a nearby jungle camp. We spent the day with such activities as:
Making jungle shelters you could sleep in overnight, making a compass with only
sticks poked in the ground, (based on the movement of the sun from east to
west), mapmaking, and “food procurement.”
That last item included digging big white maggots, larger than your
thumb, out of rotting tree trunks. The
maggots were skewered on sticks, baked a golden brown over a campfire, and
eaten. (One also had to eat a maggot
raw since, “you don’t always have time to build a campfire!”) Unfortunately, this was just the beginning
of a week of culinary surprises.
As Aguilar often commented, the
school was all about “testing and expanding your limits.” This began in earnest after lunch. Pacheco, who had wandered off a half hour
earlier, came back and told me to hold out my hand. In my hand, he pressed a squirming, flailing, snake-that-had-it’s-head-chopped-off!! - This certainly expanded the limits of “the
grossest thing ever placed in my hand.”
“Do not drop it,” Pacheco instructed, an inch from my ear. “Get a good look at it. This kind of snake is poisonous.” Only after several minutes, at the end of
Pacheco’s impromptu snake lecture, was I allowed to drop the still-squirming
headless body!!
Next it was off to a high bank
overlooking a small river.
Pacheco to Terry: “Are you a good swimmer, pastor soldier?”
“No Sir, I can’t swim.”
(This seemed to get the attention of the other 3 Commandos.)
Pacheco: “No problem soldier, this isn’t a swimming
course it’s a survival course. You’re
going to have to jump in.”
“What!?!”
Pacheco reached in his pocket,
and pulled out a couple of small packets of… well, let’s just call them durable
balloon-like things. I blew two of them
up, and was instructed to shove them under my olive-green t-shirt! Next, Pacheco simply jumped off the bank
into the river below!! Agonizing
seconds later, his head finally bobbed to the surface. “Now you jump in, let’s go!” The other 3 Commandos immediately surrounded
me, told me I could do it, so get on with it!!
Saying a very quick intense prayer and holding the two balloons in place
under my shirt, I simply walked up and stepped off the bank!!!
Yes, limits were expanded that
day. We returned to our camp and
celebrated the day with a banquet of fish, fruits, roots, and insects. A few days later, we were off for several
days and nights deep in the Amazon jungle.
For our extended trip into the
jungle, quite a team was assembled: It
included the 4 Commandos, a doctor, and his medical assistant. (The medical assistant carried a fold-up
stretcher on his back the entire trip.)
To everyone’s huge surprise, El Comandante decided to go along! He brought along a personal assistant to carry
his things plus a female cadet to serve as cook. (Obviously he wouldn’t be eating roots and insects with us.) For several days now, I had been invited to
lunch with the Comandante, and often even to supper. We were becoming real friends.
Still, no one could believe he wanted to accompany us on the grueling
trip.
Our team piled into a motorboat
and was soon heading down river, into deeper and deeper jungle. After a couple hours, we stopped at a wooden
dock that had a sign advertising a jungle zoo!
The jungle zoo operation consisted of an enterprising native who had
half a dozen homemade cages filled with jungle animals, mostly…snakes!!
The Commandos, Comandante and I
scrambled up the dirt bank and greeted the native. Aguilar declared, “The best way to get over any fear of snakes is
to handle them.” The native took a pole, opened a cage, and began poking and
prodding a huge, boa constrictor. He
pulled it to where he could get a hand on it, got it out, and brought it over
to us.
“Now the idea,” Aguilar went on,
“is to always maintain control of the snake by holding it like this, right
behind the head.” He expertly took the
snake from the native, demonstrating the hold.
“Now, you hold it. The important
thing is to hold the back of the head tightly, but not too tightly.” (How should I know what’s too tight or
not tight enough??…) We didn’t leave until I had held several snakes, a
black caiman, even a cranky 3-toed sloth that took several vicious swipes at me
with his huge curved claws! (Pacheco said
he once saw a medium size dog caught in a bear-hug by a sloth and actually
crushed to death!) I was more than
happy to head back to the boat.
After boating a couple more
hours, we finally got off the river and on a trail through the thickest jungle
I had ever seen. It was simply
exhilarating to be in such an extraordinary place. Of course the exhilaration was tempered whenever one of the
Commandos excitedly announced the discovery of yet another edible fruit or
insect. “Remember a general rule,” said
Aguilar. “Anything you see a monkey
eat, a human can eat. But if you see
the monkey eat something and then fall over dead, don’t eat that. You could however, eat the monkey.” I was certainly hoping wouldn’t run into any
monkeys that day.
I detected that the Commandos
were duly impressed with my willingness to sample jungle cuisine. However, there was a final test that
day. “It’s all about survival,” the
Commandos kept saying: “You need to get
protein in your body at every opportunity.”
The next opportunity came in the form of a harmless-looking brown pod,
hanging from a tree. The pod was the
size and shape of an extra-large pea pod.
Pacheco picked one, had us gather closely, and then split it open. The entire inside was a pulsating,
swarming, mass of live, shiny black ants, eggs, larvae, and all!! “Excellent source of protein,” Pacheco
announced, as he picked more brown pods and distributed them. “Try it.”
I carefully split my pod open,
and looked at the distasteful sight. I
licked one fingertip, and carefully dipped it in the mass of ants, hoping to
get just a few. “What are you doing
soldier?” Pacheco bellowed. “Don’t just
lick your finger and dip it in the ants!
Run your tongue through the whole pod!
You need all those ants!!
…That’s it!” …Well, hurry up
and swallow, some are getting away...
We walked for hours, with no
breakfast or lunch, other than whatever we could forage. The Commandos were the type of guys who
poked around every animal hole and rotted tree trunk, trying to flush out any
kind of jungle creature. At one point,
Pacheco spotted a huge tarantula, and picked it up on the end of his
machete. It was unlike the basically
harmless pure black ones I’d often seen, as it had several red markings on its
huge body. Pacheco put his machete
blade next to mine and the tarantula crawled onto it. I flipped my camera to Crispus, then held the
tarantula-on-my-blade as close to my head as possible for a good shot. He snapped a photo, which startled the
tarantula. It bent its legs and then
jumped straight up in the air several feet!
I had no idea it could jump! The
tarantula gone, the Medic sided up to me and said, “good thing the tarantula
left. That kind can give you a bite
that causes a fever and makes you sick for a whole month!!
We continued hacking our way down
the seldom-used path. At one point,
Crispus stepped into a hole so deep, his entire right leg disappeared all the
way up to his waist!! Less than an hour
later, Pacheco yelled out while slapping the back of his neck. He’d been stung by a giant wasp! Many types of Amazon wasps are extremely
dangerous. One type is so poisonous,
that if it stings you in the back of your leg, your leg will immediately go
limp and you will crumble to the ground, unable to walk the rest of the
day!! Neither Pacheco nor the Medic
wanted to risk anything with Pacheco’s sting.
Even before Pacheco yelled for an injection, the doctor was already ripping
a syringe out of a package, filling it, and in a matter of seconds jamming it
into Pacheco’s neck right next to the sting.
Our group was soon back on its’ way, with the Commandos kidding me that
the next time I would need to give Pacheco a shot. (At least I thought they were kidding.)
Dog tired after a whole morning
and afternoon of jungle hiking, we finally came to a river where we would make
our shelters for the night. While the
Commandos began clearing away brush, the Medic told me to sit down next to him
on a fallen tree trunk. He pulled out
two syringes and gave me one saying, “This one’s yours.” (!?!)
Now as my family well knows, I absolutely hate shots!!! I can’t stand them, period! I stared at the packet in sheer
disbelief.
The Medic explained. “If you’re in the middle of the jungle and
you get bit by a snake, who’s going to give you a shot? Now there’s a new serum, made in Brazil,
that is an antidote for the venom of the three most common poisonous snakes in
the Amazon. If you get bit, you would
need to give yourself a shot. You can
either give yourself a shot in the butt, which is a little hard to see, or in
the thigh.” The Medic went on to
demonstrate how to do it. “Now it’s
your turn.”
At this point all the Commandos
gathered around, (as I noticed they always did when you had to do something you
really didn’t want to). Still in a
state of utter disbelief, I followed the Medic’s step by step
instructions: “Take the (2 inches
long!!) needle out, screw it on the end…fill it with the serum (actually
distilled water for crying out loud!)…get the air bubbles out… Now hold it very perpendicular and push it
into your thigh.”
“Do I really have to do this to
pass the course?” I stammered. That was
all the Commandos needed to hear as they immediately let out a barrage of
abuse. “Of course you do! What’s the matter?! Do you want to die out here pastor
soldier?! Who else is going to do
it? Push the thing in!!” And with that I let out a yell and started
to jam the 2-inch needle into my thigh.
“Look at what you’re doing!” Pacheco yelled. “Push it in all the way!!”
And with that, Pacheco placed his hand on top of mine and jammed the
needle all the way down to the hilt!!!
I injected the water in, then pulled the huge needle out, blood
trickling from the less-then-neat hole.
“All right, good job.”
We each made a shelter for the
night, which consisted of thin trunks and tree branches lain side by side up on
sticks pounded in the ground, thus forming a cot raised up off the ground. Huge palm tree fronds were laced together to
make a roof. They were placed on a rope
that was strung between two trees, a couple feet above the cot. In the area between the palm frond roof and
the tree branch cot, the mosquito net was hung. About six layers of palm fronds were laid on the cot to form a
mattress. It wasn’t all that
uncomfortable, as there was a bit of give to the tree branches and palm fronds.
It was pitch dark out before
8:00, as everyone scurried into their beds under their mosquito nets. As if on cue, huge flying insects were now
coming in thick as an African plague.
You could have used goggles as you raced through the insects to your
shelter. It was like fighting through a
heavy snowfall, except it was pure bugs!!
I scrambled under the mosquito net, and lay there in the pitch dark,
taking it all in: Monkeys could be
heard howling above, birds and bats flapping around, unidentified animals
panting and sniffing around, and caimans grunting in the river below. But all those sounds were nothing compared
to the insects! You felt as if you were
trying to sleep in the eye of a huge insect hurricane. It was so loud that you kept slapping at
your ears, only to find that the insects were actually several inches away on
each side of you, circling outside the mosquito net.
Not that there weren’t insects
also getting inside, mainly ants and mosquitoes coming up from the palm frond
mattress. Yes, it was ants in your
pants the entire night. One could only
pray for sleep amidst the unrelenting onslaught of insects. I kept turning on my lighted watch
dial. Only 20 minutes had passed… It’s not even 10:30… Time seemed to just
crawl ahead… Finally, due to sheer
exhaustion, I intermittently slept.
The next morning we left our
shelters, and began walking down a different path. Hours later, we reached a river, and the isolated hut of a native
whom the Commandos knew. We would
actually set up our mosquito nets and sleep on the floor of his dwelling
tonight. The day would be spent
building rafts, personal flotation devices, and animal traps. Everyone was in a very upbeat mood, having
survived the night in our shelters.
Sleeping on the dirty floor of the hut would be a welcome step up! Plus, we would be eating any fish or jungle
birds that we could catch.
By late afternoon, there were
indeed fish and birds available! We
built a campfire and caught a few fish.
Next, I learned how to prepare jungle birds, and picked up an excellent
recipe for bird blood soup. (Remember,
it’s all about survival.)
While working over the campfire,
we were interrupted by the sound of the female cadet racing up towards us from
the riverbank, where she had been washing some clothes. She was screaming in terror a she came
running at full speed, blood streaming down her right hand! There, hanging from her index finger, was a
piranha! The fish was only about the
size of a coaster, but it’s razor-sharp teeth were sunk in deep! Pacheko grabbed the upper and lower jaws of
the fish and with much effort pulled it off her finger. The gal ran off to bandage the wound. Pacheco took the bloody fish, scaled it, put
3 slits in it, rubbed a little salt in it, then put it on a stick and set it
over the fire. Later we ate the whole
thing, - except the teeth and jaws.
(The gal later reported that she
had a small cut on her hand, which must have attracted the piranha. Indeed, earlier that day when Pacheco and I
were kneeling on the end of a wooden dock, cutting up a jungle bird on a scrap
of corrugated tin, a piranha had jumped out of the water right onto the tin! The insatiable fish literally killed itself
trying to get to the bloody giblets!
After another night in the jungle
we finally returned to the Air Force base, completely exhausted. There would still be a few more physical
requirements before I would complete the course. One afternoon we ran for an hour and fifteen minutes in the 100
plus degree heat. Another day I had to
crawl across a rope that was strung about a block long between two trees. (The Commandos took my word for it that I
could do 100 pushups after that exercise.)
I could go on and on with story
after story, but it’s getting late!
After two weeks of this unrelenting, unbridled lunacy, it was finally
over. In a wonderful military ceremony
the final day, in the presence of the 5 Instructor Commandos and other
officials from the Base, El Commandante handed me my Certificate for completing
the Jungle Survival Course. Head
Instructor Aguilar made a wonderful speech in which he mentioned that my
overall course score was in the high 90s.
I had, Aguilar said, using the only English words I ever heard him
speak, “learned to return.”
Until next time Amigos!
Terry
Hi. My name is Laura Beth Henriksen and I am a new
member of Mount Olive. I was asked to “introduce myself” to the congregation.
Many of you may recognize me, as I have been attending Mount Olive for almost five years now. I just transferred my membership from Beautiful Savior
Lutheran Church in Spooner, Wisconsin.
I
recently graduated from Hamline University at the end of May and finished my
last class at the end of July. I have a degree in Political Science and
Philosophy with a minor in Legal Studies. I am taking a year or two off before
attending Law School. I work at The Wild Onion on Grand Avenue as a server
full-time. I also take care of a mentally disabled adult for about 10 hours a
week. I am currently taking a LSAT (Law School Admissions Test) Prep class to
prepare for the test on December 6. I would like to go into Family or Criminal
Law. As some of you may know, I am also teaching Sunday school at Mount Olive.
I have the Preschool and Kindergarteners. They are a blessing and they
definitely keep me on my toes.
I
grew up in Trego, WI and attended high school in Spooner, WI. My parents,
Harold and Lauren Henriksen and my younger sister Leann still live in Northern
Wisconsin. Up until fifth-grade my family and I were Missouri Synod. After some
contemplation and prayer my family joined the WELS family. My mom has taught
Sunday school for as long as I can remember and plays the organ. Recently, she
has taken a well-deserved break and enjoys helping out the congregation in
other ways. My dad has served on the church council and is a frequent usher. I
taught Sunday school in high school and accompanied the choir with voice and
flute.
My
sister, Leann is almost seventeen years old and is enjoying her new-found
freedom with her driver’s license. She is a junior at Spooner High School and
works at a local variety store. My dad is employed at the Schwann Retreat &
Conference Center in Trego. He does custodial and maintenance work. My mom is a
substitute teacher for Spooner and Shell Lake Schools as well as helping to
care for my grandparents who recently moved to Shell Lake, WI.
My
sister and I were both adopted as infants. We have enjoyed growing up in the
country, but I also love living in the “big city.” I have one roommate and live
off of Lexington and Randolph in St. Paul. In my spare time I like to read,
run, catch up with my busy friends, listen to music and the occasional shopping
trip. Thank you for making me feel welcome at Mount Olive and I look forward to
meeting all of you. I can be reached at lhenriksen01@yahoo.com. Have a
Blessed Day!!
Mama’s
Christmas Gifts
Four brothers left home for college, and they became
successful doctors and lawyers and prospered. Some years later, they chatted
after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts that they were able to
give to their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.
The
first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."
The
second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theatre built in the
house."
The
third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver her an SL600."
The
fourth said, "Listen to this. You know how Mama loved reading the Bible
and you know she can't read it anymore because she can't see very well. I met
this priest who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It
took twenty priests 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute
$100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just
has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."
The
other brothers were impressed.
After
the holidays, Mom sent out her Thank You notes. She wrote: "Milton, the
house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the
whole house. Thanks anyway."
"Marvin,
I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries delivered, so I never
use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."
"Michael,
you gave me an expensive theatre with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but
all my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never
use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."
"Dearest
Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought
to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."
The
“Smart” Yuppie !?!
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture
when suddenly a brand new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him. The
driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL
tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd, “If I tell you exactly how
many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?”
The
shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his
peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, “Sure.” The yuppie parked his
car, whipped out his notebook and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed
to a NASA page on the Internet where he called up a surveillance satellite
system, scanned the area, and then opened up a database and an Excel
spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on his Blackberry and,
after a few minutes, received a response.
Finally,
he prints out a 150 page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized printer then turns
to the shepherd and says, “You have exactly 1586 sheep.” “That is correct; take one of the sheep.” said the
shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into
his car.
Then
the shepherd says: “If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you
give me back my sheep?” “OK, why not.” answered the young man. “Clearly, you
are a consultant.” said the shepherd. “That’s correct,” says the yuppie, “but
how did you guess that?” “No guessing required.” answers the shepherd. “You
turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I
already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don’t know anything about my
business. Now give me back my dog.”
The New
Librarian
The new librarian decided that instead of checking
out children’s books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards
herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then
tell them they were signing a “Contract” for returning the books on time.
Her
first customer was a second grader, who looked surprised to see a new
librarian. He brought four books to the desk and shoved them across to the
librarian, giving her his name as he did so.
The
librarian pushed the books back and told him to sign them out. The boy
laboriously printed his name on each book card and then handed them to her with
a look of utter disgust.
Before
the librarian could even start her speech he said, scornfully, “That other
librarian we had could write.”
A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were
excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their
parents knew that, if any mischief occurred in their town, their sons were
probably involved.
The boys’ mother heard that a clergyman in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The clergyman agreed. He asked to see them individually. So the mother sent her 8-year-old in first that morning, with the older boy to see the clergyman in the afternoon. The clergyman, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, “Where is God?”
The
boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there with his mouth
hanging open, wide eyed. So the clergyman repeated the question in an even
sterner tone, “Where is God!!?”
Again
the boy made no attempt to answer. So the clergyman raised his voice even more
and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed, “WHERE IS GOD!?”
The
boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his
closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the
closet, he asked, “What happened?”
The
younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, “We are in BIG trouble this time,
dude.
God
is missing - and they think WE did it.!”
Sunday School
News & Notes
The Sunday School children have a busy schedule for
December. They will give the Children's
Christmas service on Sunday, December 21st at 9:00am.
To
prepare for their service, there will be three Saturday practices for the
children. We will meet December 6th,
13th and 20th from 9:30-11:30am. We will continue memory work for recitations
and the songs from the service entitled, "The Christmas Gift". There will be a snack break each Saturday
provided by the Sunday School staff.
There
will be no Sunday School on December 28th. Sunday School will resume on January 5th, 2004.
On
behalf of the children and the Sunday School staff, I pray that you all have a
blessed Christmas and New Year.
Congregational
Christmas
Caroling
You are cordially invited to come and participate in
the congregational Christmas caroling that will take place on Tuesday, December
16th, at 6:30pm. There will
be a caroling party following. Please
bring an appetizer and cookies or sweets to share. Cocoa, hot cider, and coffee will be brewing! Come and join in the fun!
Christmas Cookie Exchange
Our annual Christmas cookie exchange will take place
on December 18th at 7:00pm.
We will meet in the Fireside Room.
All ladies of the congregation are invited to participate. Please bring 3 1/2 dozen cookies to exchange
and share. There will be coffee and hot
cider to go with the cookies. We hope
that many of you will come for an evening of fellowship and fun.
Sponsored
by Caring & Sharing
SCLHS 12th Annual Auction
Saint Croix Lutheran High School is holding their
Twelfth Annual Auction, also known this year as the "MAUI MINNESOTA MARKET" on Saturday, March 13, 2004. It is our major fundraising event of the
year! This year's theme mixes the fun
and excitement of 2 magnificent environments . . .the tropics of MAUI with the home comfort of MINNESOTA in a fundraising MARKET that is sure to provide valuable
products to please everyone! Please
mark this date on your calendar and plan to attend. See for yourself what this
year's event has in store for you!
Members of our volunteer Auction Committee are
collecting donations of marketable products and services now through the end of
February. We appreciate the support of
the many members and businesses who have supported us in the past. If you, your business or place of employment
would like to consider donating to our event, please let us know. We accept cash or new and "used items of value" including
collectibles, antiques, tools, sporting goods, event tickets, gift baskets and
certificates, and art work. Popular
services such as house cleaning, yard work, hair styling, car washes, oil
changes, photography and movie rentals have also been popular at past
auctions. Craft items and Baked Goods
are also appropriate donations.
Donations that lend to our popular Maui Minnesota theme are especially
welcome! Generosity is contagious! Cash donations enable our committee to
purchase items of special interest to Auction LIVE!
REMINDER: Donations
made during 2004 can benefit your 2004 tax return. If you are interested in donating items, services, cash, or would
like to volunteer your precious time to support our Auction, please contact Mae
Schmidt, at 651-646-4768. If you have
further questions, please feel free to contact the Development office at St. Croix
directly via our website www.saintcroixlhs.org or by phone,
651-455-1521.
Once again we would like to
take this opportunity to acknowledge the following memorials to the
congregation: